Last night tried my patience, tried my soul, and tried my attempts at peace of mind. After three weeks in the shop my little Fiat wouldn’t start in the mall parking lot. It was raining rather heavily, I was tired, and a little upset with Fiat. I will honestly admit that before I began my yoga, Buddhism, and meditation practices the old me would have been cussing up a storm, lashing out at my poor friend (who was stuck with me in the tiny space that is my Fiat), and generally hating life as a whole.
I am happy to say that those things did not happen. I did place my head in my hands for a few moments and I came right to my breathing practice. I closed my eyes and took many many many deep breaths. As I did this I could feel the overwhelming anger begin to abate. I took one final deep breath in and made all the necessary calls to get the situation handled and move on with my night. This is not to say I didn’t feel anger, disappointment, or disgust; trust me those feelings were right below the surface. I did, however, not let them rule my emotional well being. I sat with them for a moment (let’s not lie; many moments) and dealt with each emotion as it surfaced. I refused to let this ruin what I’ve been working so hard to accomplish.
I am not perfect. I am not enlightened. I probably still could have handled my emotions far more maturely. But, I can honestly say I’ve come a long way in controlling those emotions and that is what my practice is all about. Step by step improvements, no matter how small or trivial make all the difference.
This is a short post, I know. But I wanted to share this story as a beacon of hope for anyone else that might be working on the same issues that I am.
My love to you all!